I HAVE SO MANY THINGS ON MY MIND WHAT TO DO? I WANT TO SHOUT IT OUT BUT WHERE? I WANT SOMEONE TO TALK TO BUT WHO? I NEED SOMEONE'S LOVE BUT WHO? I FEEL SO FUCKIN' LEFT OUT OF EVERYTHING BUT MAYBE IT'S BECAUSE I DIN'T TRY HARD ENOUGH.
HOME IS NO LONGER THE COMFYANDHAPPY PLACE TO LIVE IN, BUT HAS TURNED TO THE COLDANDDEPRESSING PLACE JUST OVERNIGHT. I HATE THIS. MY MUM WILL NEVER ABLE TO UNDERSTAND THE MESSAGE I'M TRYING TO PATIENTLY CONVEY BUT ONLY SEES THE JEALOUSY WITHIN ME. IMMA HUMAN SO WHAT DO YOU EXPECT ME TO HAVE? THE LIMITLESS PATIENCE OF A SAINT? SORRY BUT NO. FUCKIN' PISSED OFF AND YOU WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND. FOREVER PRO-BRO. THEN FOR WHY THE FUCKIN' HELL DID YOU BOTHER TO GIVE BIRTH TO ME? JUST BECAUSE I WENT JOGGING IN THE NIGHT AND YOU CAME SCREAMING LIKE FUCK AND WHEN HE WENT CLUBBING FOR THE WHOLE NIGHT YOU DON'T EVEN DARE TO RAISE YOUR VOICE. WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS. SOMETIMES I JUST WISH YOU WERE DEAD. AT LEAST YOU WON'T ADD ON TO MY ALREADY MISERABLE SOUL AND MAYBE I COULD FEEL HAPPIER AND ENJOY MYSELF MORE AND I COULD AT LEAST UNDERSTAND THE REAL MEANING OF 'FAIRNESS'.
Sorry for the colourful words I cant control myself and I dont want my mum to die cause I may not live without her. I'm so sorry, yet so angry. Fuck.
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