This is not the way!

I'M SO SAD I DON'T KNOW WHY. I JUST SUDDENLY FEEL SO LEFT OUT AND I'M SO WORRIED AND SCARED CAUSE I JUST DON'T WANT TOMO TO COME.
AND I'M SO SICK NOW, TEARY EYES AND BLOCKED NOSE AND NUMB BRAIN AND SWOLLEN ANKLE AND SLIGHT FEVER. WHAT THE FUCK. I'M SO MISERABLE.

I FEEL SO SAD AND..I DON'T KNOW WHAT I WANT.
FUCK I FEEL SO WORTHLESS.

If I really don't exist, will anyone even bother? Tomo is the finals for Singapore Idol and oh, that'll act as a kind of comfort for me. At least the people in the show are actually cheering and I'm imagining it as a kind of birthday song for me.

LOOKIE!

HAHAHAHAHA SERI I KNOW YOU ARE READING THIS :D

But how do you know my blog address?

I WANT TO LEARN MALAY!

HECTIC!
okay shall update the kind people who comes to my blog every now and then about my busy holidays:
1. Spartans outing
2. 6hrs in library (found only 2 books in the end. But I felt so learned when I walked out of the library. hahahaha bodoh)

okay now get ready for the hectic week coming!
1. Job training tomo
2. Cupcakes making
3. Giving out prezzies
4. Celebrate Christmas with my 2 babes
5. Dinner with babe no.1 and sirec.
6. Countdown partay?


And goes 2009(the F. year),
comes 2010!
In Jan would be
1. Release of O levels result (this thing is gonna scare the shit hell out of me)
2. Starting of my job!(L)

And the rest, sighs
I dont know what to expect. Hope it will go well. No, IT MUST GO WELL. EVEN IF IT DOES NOT, I WILL MAKE IT.
Cause' wo shi superman
ni shi loser! :D


CIAO, babes and hunks(:

Cause Imma Free Bitch Baby!

I HAVE SO MANY THINGS ON MY MIND WHAT TO DO? I WANT TO SHOUT IT OUT BUT WHERE? I WANT SOMEONE TO TALK TO BUT WHO? I NEED SOMEONE'S LOVE BUT WHO? I FEEL SO FUCKIN' LEFT OUT OF EVERYTHING BUT MAYBE IT'S BECAUSE I DIN'T TRY HARD ENOUGH.
HOME IS NO LONGER THE COMFYANDHAPPY PLACE TO LIVE IN, BUT HAS TURNED TO THE COLDANDDEPRESSING PLACE JUST OVERNIGHT. I HATE THIS. MY MUM WILL NEVER ABLE TO UNDERSTAND THE MESSAGE I'M TRYING TO PATIENTLY CONVEY BUT ONLY SEES THE JEALOUSY WITHIN ME. IMMA HUMAN SO WHAT DO YOU EXPECT ME TO HAVE? THE LIMITLESS PATIENCE OF A SAINT? SORRY BUT NO. FUCKIN' PISSED OFF AND YOU WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND. FOREVER PRO-BRO. THEN FOR WHY THE FUCKIN' HELL DID YOU BOTHER TO GIVE BIRTH TO ME? JUST BECAUSE I WENT JOGGING IN THE NIGHT AND YOU CAME SCREAMING LIKE FUCK AND WHEN HE WENT CLUBBING FOR THE WHOLE NIGHT YOU DON'T EVEN DARE TO RAISE YOUR VOICE. WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS. SOMETIMES I JUST WISH YOU WERE DEAD. AT LEAST YOU WON'T ADD ON TO MY ALREADY MISERABLE SOUL AND MAYBE I COULD FEEL HAPPIER AND ENJOY MYSELF MORE AND I COULD AT LEAST UNDERSTAND THE REAL MEANING OF 'FAIRNESS'.



Sorry for the colourful words I cant control myself and I dont want my mum to die cause I may not live without her. I'm so sorry, yet so angry. Fuck.

Lucky Draw.

HEHEHEHEHE NOT SICK ANYMORE :D
(Y)(Y)(Y)


Got some really really really cool job! That is, to take photos for pri 1 and 6 kids! hahahah so cool rightttt 8) Got super advanced DSLR + laptop + scanner + tripod stand :D
Starting work at around jan and so I still got time to shop!(Y) But I dont have moneh! (inserts sad face)

heheheh okkay I'm so excited so I'm actually praying for time to pass :/ oh and, I will not be taking the O level results with the big cohort cause I'm like working on that day and I'm so relieved. Don't need to feel that kind of feeling again and then can just get my results silently, either weep or smiles are also none of your business hahahah. Okay I just realised that the sentences above don't make much sense. To put it simply, I'm not taking the results with you and you and you, and even if I cry over my results, you'll also not be able to see that. And I like the fact that you can't see(:
At least this puts my heart to peace(Y)


Okay,
CIAO!

Mad cow disease.

1. Dint sleep for 48hrs yet still not sleepy
2. Repainted whole room yet not tired
3. Dry + sore throat
4. Fever in afternoon, miraculously recovered by evening
5. Still can blog
6. Still can FB
7. Still can MSN



WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME!
THIS IS SO FREAKY I SWEAR.

All these, are just shows staged.

I♥♥QUOTES.



What if it rains tomo?
:(

Gotta Get That.

HEHEHEH OKAY THIS IS SO BITCHY
:B


9Dec outing @ marina barrage, we shall spam talk spam food spam fun and spasm. HAHAHAHAHA okay shush. Oh I need job! :(
Brenda oh Brenda where are youuuuuuuuu :'(


Think I'm getting the job for pri sch thingy if this carries on. Sighs.
And I thinkj I've gotton over that incident alrd. (Y)


Ciao!

YOURS TRUELY.

BEFORE YOU THINK THAT I'M EGOISTIC, THINK AGAIN.
I'm so FAT that you can't see my face so how d' you see that I'm actually laughing at you?
YOU'RE SO PRESUMATIVE
AND IT'S SO IRRITATING,
BUT I DON'T CARE CAUSE YOU CAN'T SEE THE EXPRESSION ON MY FACE.
HEHEHEHEHEHE

But I've tried my best.

Somehow i think that the gathering later on will fail miserably. Sincere apologies if that did really happen :(

Ain't supergirl.

Sorry but I need to get away from all this chaos for a while. I promise to be back readers and friends, but not for the time being.
And thankyou for making me realise that I'm not who I expect myself to be and I am so going to find my real self because your comments had always meant so much to me. The words just pierced right through me and I thought that it was all going to stop but yet the words came like blows and it hurts so so much. Why can't you just see my change? Sorry for being bitchy sorry for being loud.
sorry,
but I hate you,
dear.

[/EDITED]
Ho...ho...
Yeah...
Ho...ho...oh...ooh...ooh...


When you get caught in the rain
With nowhere to run
When you're distraught and in pain
Without anyone


We keep prayin' to be saved
But nobody comes
And you feel so far away
That you just can't


Find your way home
You can get there alone
It's okay
What you say


I can make it through the rain
I can stand up once again
On my own and I know
That I'm strong enough to mend
And every time I feel afraid
I hold tighter to my faith
And I live one more day
And I make it through the rain


Hoo...hoo...doo doo doo
Ooh...hoo...mmm...hmm...


And if you keep falling down
Don't you dare give in
You will arise safe and sound
So keep pressing on


Step fastly
And you'll find what you need
To prepare
What you say


I can make it through the rain
I can stand up once again
On my own and I know
That I'm strong enough to mend
And every time I feel afraid
I hold tighter to my faith
And I live one more day
And I make it through the rain


And when the wind moves
And shadows grow close
Don't be afraid
There's nothing you can't face


And sure they tell you
You'll never pull through
Don't hesitate
Stay calm and sane


I can make it through the rain
I can stand up once again
On my own and I know
That I'm strong enough to mend
And every time I feel afraid
I hold tighter to my faith
And I live one more day
And I make it through the rain


I can make it through the rain
Can stand up once again
And I live one more day
And I'll make it through the rain


Ooh, yes, you can
Mmm...hmm...
You can make it through the rain

Through the rain - Mariah Carey.


Okay I'm feeling so slightly better. Thanks.